Dracula

What kind of clothes do you think of when I say, "Vampires"? Maybe a little bit of black?

Hairband - Target, Pink heart scarf - Charlotte Russe Outlet, Black shirt - Ann Taylor, Black patent belt - Present from Sister, Black city pants - J.Crew, Silver heels - Macy's

Or maybe a whole lot of black.

Anything else you think about?

Maybe you also think about wearing a scarf...to hide the vampire bites, of course.

Late addition to the outfit: Bracelet - Swarovski (Present from Husband)

But maybe to keep the outfit from being too dark, and to play with the shiny, angular bracelet, you choose these shoes:

I adore these shoes. Plus--look--shiny! So we can check for vampires' lack of reflections!

So why am I going on and on about vampire outfits? Because I finally read Dracula by Bram Stoker at Halloween (this has been a two-year long process). Surprisingly readable for a classic, and earned a 3/5 rating. But wow, Bram Stoker can certainly drag out these situations...

First, Jonathan Harker is stuck in Dracula's castle forever, but that was fine because I liked being introduced to Stoker's vampires. Then Lucy has this drawn-out mysterious illness, and I felt like, Seriously, do we all need to give her blood? Okay, fine. Then we all piece it together and realize we have to get rid of Dracula by...finding boxes of dirt. That felt...too practical somehow. But to keep it interesting, Bram has his characters start their search at night, leaving innocent Mina alone next door in the insane asylum. Really, guys? Pretty dumb. But then! We're hunting Dracula! By boat! On horseback! By carriage, stuffed with foods and warm furs! And all of this sounds exciting, but good grief, Stoker has so many instances of the sun rising and falling, and nothing happening except hypnotizing Mina to see if we can find Dracula. I guess this is to build suspense, and truthfully, I did feel like whooping when Jonathan and Quincey killed Dracula, just as the sun was dipping down, in a very dramatic and man-like way.

But! I think I mainly felt like that because we had spent the entire novel with all of the men being so earnest and so darn gentlemen-like, that sometimes I just had to laugh (sometimes I thought it was sweet). And Mina is so good and nice and they all love her so much that it sometimes got ridiculous. Honestly, I wanted Mina to kill Dracula to show them she wasn't just a little lady, and even though Van Helsing was an older man, I really wanted them to have a torrid affair. Is there a version of this story where that happens?

But finally I understand why del Toro's The Strain had all of that nonsense about vampires' travels over water, which at the time I thought was incredibly dumb, and yep, still do. But I guess lots of other vampire lore is pretty dumb. Like garlic--why? Not sure, but I happily accept that.